Getting a Degree in Encryption

Prior to President Clinton’s recent helicopter visit to Pepperdine University, the school received a call from a reporter who wasn’t familiar with the lingo for such events.

The reporter mentioned “that the president’s itinerary said ‘Pepperdine LZ,’ and he asked if that was ‘a Pepperdine fraternity like Lambda Zeta or something?’ ” said Jeff Bliss, the school’s director of public information.

Bliss explained that the phrase meant Pepperdine landing zone.

I told him, “There was no sorority-fraternity mixer going on that night as far as I know.”

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L.A.’S STATUS IS CLEAR: Reader Alan Buster says you know air pollution is a problem in Southeast Asia--site of a series of huge forest fires--when L.A. is cited “as a model” for those nations to emulate.

Buster sent along a recent copy of the Kuala Lumpur Star, which carried a headline that said: “Follow L.A. Way to End Haze Woes.”

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THIS COLUMN HAS LEGS: Cynthia Walker of Arroyo Grande saw an ad in a local weekly for a love seat that seemed to want companionship.

That inspired me to dig out a companion piece from the Only in L.A. archives--a menu listing of a crab that apparently isn’t easy to catch (see accompanying).

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HARRUMPH FOR HOLLYWOOD: Don’t know if you’ve heard, but the American Film Institute has asked a panel of experts to select the top 100 American movies.

A list of 400 candidates was released to the press and, as a proud Angeleno, I was infuriated at the inclusion of several films that knock L.A.

They are:

* “Blade Runner” (1982): Imagine a film that envisions an L.A. with no beach days.

* “War of the Worlds” (1953): The Martians destroy downtown L.A.

* “Annie Hall” (1977): Surely you remember the description of L.A. as “a city where the only cultural advantage is that you can make a right turn on a red light.”

But the last straw was the inclusion of “Mark of Zorro” (1940).

This film is set in early 19th century Los Angeles, which is ruled by a crooked alcalde, or mayor. The people are depicted as unhappy about high taxes, especially a new law that decrees: “Raw grapes will no longer be accepted as payment for taxes.”

The greatest insult to L.A.’s image, however, is delivered by the wife of the alcalde. At one point, she says of the City of Angels: “What is there here to interest a woman?”

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SORRY THE EARTH MOVED: This column erroneously said Wednesday that the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences is in Beverly Hills when it’s actually in North Hollywood.

I don’t know why I’m always mixing up those two towns.

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SPEAKING OF MUSEUMS: Nancy Mullen of San Pedro recalled a trip to an art gallery in Kansas City where she specifically wanted to see a painting by the Impressionist Raoul Dufy.

“I asked a guard, ‘Where is the Dufy?’ ” she recalled.

“He said, ‘Pardon me?’ I was not sure how to pronounce the name and tried ‘Du-fay’ and ‘Du-Fee.’ He finally nodded and directed me up the stairs and two corridors down on the right--to the women’s restroom.”

miscelLAny:

Robert Kotler recently donated a $6,000 nose job operation to a silent auction for charity at the Petersen Auto Museum. Who says there’s nothing here to interest a woman--or a man?

Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at [email protected] and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.