Rewriting ‘I Love L.A.’ for the malaise of 2013 Los Angeles

In his column Sunday, Steve Lopez laments the low voter turnout expected in Tuesday’s Los Angeles mayor runoff.

In doing so, he also writes a new version of Randy Newman’s classic song “I Love L.A.,” set to the mood of 2013 Los Angeles:

Look at that uplifted sidewalk

Look at those shabby trees

Look at that digital billboard, man

Enough of them, please

Flat tires (We love it!)

Ruptured water mains (We love it!)

Grand Canyon pot holes (We love it!)

Trash fees were tripled

405 construction won’t stop

Crank up the Beach Boys, baby

Wish we could hire more cops

From the South Bay

To the Valley

From the Westside

To the Eastside

Looks like another perfect day

I love L.A.

Look at that guy’s pension

Can I have one please?

Look at that poor bum

He’s STILL down on his knees

Look at these candidates

Ain’t no one like ‘em nowhere

Century Boulevard (We love it!)

Victory Boulevard (We love it!)

Santa Monica Boulevard (We love it!)

Sixth Street (We love it! We love it!)

We were gonna vote

But we just didn’t know where to go

We must admit sadly

We haven’t voted since Bradley

I love L.A. (We love it!)

Do you have some alternative lyrics? Does Steve get L.A. right? Share your comments below.