What to tell children about HIV/AIDS

The Laguna Beach HIV Advisory Committee, a group of community advocates concerned with the continuing rise of HIV infections in Orange County, offers the following recommendations for broaching the subject of AIDS with children.

As upsetting and confusing as it can be to bring up the subject of AIDS with young children, it is essential to do so. By the time they reach the third grade, research shows that as many as 93% of children have already heard about the illness. Yet, while kids are hearing about HIV/AIDS early on, what they are learning is often inaccurate and frightening. You can set the record straight ? if you know the facts yourself.

Kids are hearing about and forced to cope with tough issues at increasingly early ages, often before they are ready to understand all aspects of these complicated ideas. Additionally, medical research and public health data tells us that when young children want information, advice and guidance, they turn to their parents first. Once they reach the teenage years, they tend to depend more on friends, the media and other outsiders for their information.

As a parent, you have a wonderful opportunity to talk with your child first, before anyone else can confuse your child with incorrect information or explanations that lack the sense of values you want to instill.

Sexual curiosity is natural. Soon after birth, children begin to explore their own bodies and observe others’. Although all children are different, curiosity about sex often begins before puberty.

Your words and attitudes can make a difference. Talking about sex isn’t easy. But adolescents need accurate information ? and guidance ? from you. It’s never too early to start talking with them about sex. (Don’t wait until they ask questions ? or until they’ve gone through puberty.)

Many studies present data that teenagers are becoming sexually active at earlier ages; talking to them about sex and sexual health education can save their lives. Sex is not an easy topic; however you can start by talking to them about what you thought sex was when you were their age. Validate their thoughts and feelings, and offer guidance the same way you offer guidance on when they should be driving a car.

Perhaps you have already talked to them about the importance of avoiding drugs and alcohol. Let them know what you feel is appropriate and what isn’t, but above all listen and let them know you are opening the doors for that conversation.

Young Children (5-8 years)

Children this age have likely heard of AIDS and may have questions and fears about it. Try to find out what they already know. Be sure to use words he/she can understand. Trying to explain AIDS to a 6 year old with words like “transmission” and “transfusion” may not be as helpful as using simpler language.

The best technique is to use simple, short words and straightforward explanations. At any age, it is important to dispel myths they may have picked up. (No, it is not spread by mosquito bites or toilet seats, drinking fountains or swimming pools. And you can’t get sick just by being around someone with HIV/AIDS).

Pre-teens (9-12 years)

With the onset of puberty, pre-teens become more concerned about their bodies and their looks. Parents need to talk to them about sexuality, AIDS and drugs. Give them accurate information. Children of varied ages are usually at different developmental levels, which means that they need different information, have different sensitivities and require a different vocabulary.

Teenagers (13-19 years)

This age group needs more information, and in far more detail. Every hour of every day two American teens are infected with HIV. The surest way to avoid getting HIV is to abstain from sexual intercourse and from sharing needles for injecting drugs, including steroids, tattoos and ear piercing. Make sure they understand that AIDS is a disease that can affect anyone.

Listen carefully to what they say ? and don’t worry if you don’t have all the answers. For additional information, contact the Health Education and Prevention Department at AIDS Services Foundation Orange County, (949) 809-5700.