Providing students with hope

“[To] Me: Thanks for not doing it. [To] God: Thank you for reaching people that love me.”

Ocean View High School’s gym assembly Friday wasn’t the usual display of pep and enthusiasm.

This is the fifth year the school has produced a Yellow Ribbon Week assembly on suicide.

Four years of memorial posters spoke of teens’ losses and battles, like from the student who scrawled the above message on a poster last week.

Other messages were in memory of lost friends and family members.

Students were taught that for every person lost to a successful suicide, there are 100 to 200 failed attempts.

Depression is the leading cause of suicide, leading to 95% of the cases.

“Happy people don’t kill themselves,” Annette Craig said. “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.”

Craig’s daughter Amber committed suicide in May 2005, when she was 14.

Since then, Craig has founded the With Hope Foundation in her daughter’s memory, and teaches other teens the risk factors of suicide, as well as how to get help.

“They have no idea of the impact of what they’re going to leave behind,” Craig said. “It would be tragic to think that we lost Amber, and I didn’t learn anything. I know that she would be all about what we’re doing now.”

A picture of Amber taken three days before she committed suicide showed a healthy, happy girl and resonated with many of the students.

“Amber would have been 18 years old on the 25th of November,” Craig said.

She encouraged Ocean View students who think their friend may commit suicide to become a lifesaving friend, instead of fearing being “uncool.”

“Sometimes we don’t ask people if they’re thinking about hurting themselves,” Craig said. “That confirms to them that nobody really cares.”

“Every 18 minutes, someone in the United States commits suicide,” Craig said.

Other speakers included a current student whose sister’s boyfriend shot himself; the sister later found out she was pregnant with his child.

School Activities Director Kevin Fairman, who founded the assembly series, spoke of how his father committed suicide while he was in college.

He described the warning signs he ignored, due to ignorance of how to intervene, and of how his father ironically had encouraged him on the same topic.

“It’s been 17 years, and it still hurts me,” Fairman said. “I hate Father’s Day — I hate it. My father told me that he didn’t want to be around. I should have listened.”

The personal testimonials helped students connect with the issue on a personal level.

“This week is to educate you, not make you sad,” Fairman said.

Each Ocean View student was given a packet that contained a wallet card of warning signs and resources.

The school also set up a room where students could get support or answers to their questions.

Fairman has invited representatives from other area schools to view the assembly, and perhaps build a program of their own.

Student psychologist Claudia Rodriguez Gomez said that every year, one of the school’s students helps save a life by talking to a counselor.

For more information, visit withhopefoundation.com.

WHAT TO WATCH FOR

Symptoms of depression:

 Feeling sad, empty, numb, hopeless or guilty

 Over- or under-sleeping; feeling tired all the time

 Mood swings; crying easily; panic attacks

 Avoiding friends and things that used to be fun

 Eating disturbances; alcohol or drug use

 Thinking about, planning or attempting suicide

Warning signs of suicide:

 Talking, reading or writing about suicide or death

 Saying things like “I wish I were dead”

 Saying goodbye to friends or family

 Giving things away

  Self-destructive behavior, like cutting

  Previous suicidal thoughts or attempts

IMMEDIATE HELP

New Hope Suicide Hotline

(800) 784-2433

Teen Hotline

(714) 847-7242

California Youth Crisis Line

(800) 843-5200

Rape Crisis Hotline

(714) 957-2737

National Runaway Switchboard

(800) 621-4000

County Information Link

2-1-1

CANDICE BAKER can be reached at (714) 966-4631 or at [email protected].