Secrets of Getting Along in Public : Relationships: Those who deal with people day in and day out say that quick action and open communication help resolve problems with customers.

You work in the designer section of a major South Coast Plaza department store. A customer approaches with a Donna Karan outfit she bought last week. It doesn’t fit, she laments. But you just saw a newspaper society photo of her wearing the $1,600 ensemble--and it fit like a glove.

You own a travel agency. A man calls to ask how much it costs to fly to Mexico. When you ask him where in Mexico he’d like to go and when he’s thinking about traveling, he accuses you of high-pressure tactics and slams down the phone.

You’re the customer relations manager for a major cruise line. Just when you think you’ve heard it all, a letter arrives from a passenger who claims she contracted herpes from a cabin attendant and is demanding a free cruise to help ease her “pain and suffering.”

For those who don’t work with the public for a living, such stories of slick customers, surly attitudes and unreasonable demands may sound a bit unbelievable. But those who deal with the people day in and day out say that such encounters aren’t nearly as unusual as some might think.

“Most people are reasonable and easy to get along with, but there are always going to be a few who’ll make you crazy if you let them,” says Robert Hartman, manager of the Improv comedy clubs in Irvine and Brea. “The secret to dealing with them is to never take anything that happens personally. If you let your pride or ego get in the way, you’re in big trouble.”

Adds Hartman: “You have to remind yourself that it’s not about you, but rather about a situation. The calmer and more relaxed I stay, the easier it is for me to resolve a problem and move on.”

It’s a lesson Hartman says he’s learned through experience. He figures that in the five years he’s worked for the Improv, he’s been called on thousands of times to resolve problems ranging from people who don’t want to share tables with other parties to those who disrupt the performance by talking with their friends.

“When you’re running a business that serves alcohol and brings 300 people together at night in a dark room, the potential for problems multiplies,” Hartman says. “The only way to keep things running smoothly is to make your policies known up front and then to enforce them fairly.”

When Hartman gets a noise complaint, for example, he moves swiftly. Once he observes a problem, he deals with it on the spot.

“I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, but I appreciate that people come to our club to enjoy the show and not to listen to the guy at the next table,” says Hartman. “We make an announcement before the show asking people to please not talk during the performance, but there are some who think that only applies to everyone else. I’ll ask someone to be quiet twice, then I ask them to leave.”

And if they don’t?

“On rare occasion we have to call the police,” Hartman says. “When we do, I always approach the table and tell the party that the police are on the way. I explain that if they leave before the police arrive, I won’t press charges. If they don’t, I will. Most of the time, that gets them moving. But every now and then, people get really belligerent. One lady ended up doing six months’ community service because she decided to slap one of our female managers.”

Mark Neumann knows what it’s like to deal with difficult customers. For 12 years, he worked in the box office at the Long Beach Convention Center. Neumann, who now manages the box office at the Celebrity Theatre in Anaheim, says he’s learned over time that it’s impossible to make some people happy.

“I had a lady come to the box office not long ago to buy Andy Williams tickets,” he recalls. “They’d just gone on sale and I still had front-row tickets available. I showed her where they were on the seating chart. I figured she’d be thrilled. Instead, she said, ‘Are these the best you’ve got?’ She was serious! I finally asked her, ‘Where would you like to sit?’ You get to a point where you have to laugh, because it gets ridiculous. Some people are just plain difficult, and whatever you do for them isn’t going to be enough.”

Neumann says he tries to give people the benefit of the doubt. But sometimes, he suggests, it’s not easy.

“I understand that it’s disappointing when a show someone really wants to see is sold out,” Neumann says. “But what gets me is when they say things like, ‘Are you sure you don’t have anything?’ There’s an element of distrust there, as though I’m holding back all the good seats.”

Neumann says that when customers become unreasonable, he often attempts to defuse the problem by asking them how they would like him to resolve it.

“It usually slows them down because it forces them to look at the situation less emotionally,” he says. “It lets them see the problem from my perspective. If, for example, they’re demanding better seats, it helps them understand that I can’t sell tickets I don’t have.”

Kelly Keating, manager of the Soup Exchange, an all-you-can-eat soup, salad, bakery and dessert restaurant in Irvine, says she makes an effort to see complaints from the customer’s point of view.

“If a person has a legitimate complaint, I do whatever I can to make it right immediately,” says Keating. “I’ll refund their money or give them a coupon good for a free meal. I want people to leave here happy and to come back. That’s the only way you build a business.”

There are some customers, Keating admits, that she’d rather not see again.

“We get people all the time who order one meal and insist on sharing it, even though our no-sharing policy is clearly posted,” says Keating, who’s worked for the Soup Exchange chain since 1987. “If you’re at McDonald’s and you split a hamburger, it’s not a problem. You’ve paid for it and it’s yours to do with as you please. But here, you can have all you want. If we feed two people all the soup, salad, muffins, bread and dessert they want for the price of one, we’re not going to be in business very long.”

Many customer-service experts suggest that open communication is a critical step in defusing problems and achieving results. But as Craig Aguilera knows all too well, achieving that level of communication can be next to impossible when dealing with the general public.

Aguilera is a communicable disease investigator for the Orange County Health Care Agency in Santa Ana. He interviews Orange County residents who suspect they may have sexually transmitted diseases and says his job can be frustrating when people resist providing him vital information he needs in order to assist them.

“It can make you crazy if you let it, but I try to remind myself that I deal with this stuff every day and they don’t,” Aguilera says. “A lot of people are embarrassed, frustrated and angry about being here in the first place. They don’t really want to talk about symptoms, and they certainly don’t want to talk about their genitals with a stranger.”

Aguilera says whenever an especially difficult patient gets the best of him, he makes a conscious effort to “blow off steam” as soon as possible.

“If a patient really pushes my buttons, I talk about it with a co-worker and get it off my chest as soon as I can,” says Aguilera. “If I don’t, it’ll linger and bother me for the rest of the day. I try not to let that happen, because it can affect the way I deal with other patients that entire day. Being able to talk it out with supportive co-workers really helps. If I didn’t, I’m sure I’d have an ulcer by now.”