Doggy Bag? No Thanks

For the Bush administration, it’s been a four-year feast. Jeb set the table. Scalia and Thomas held court at the bar. Don Rumsfeld served up the biggest freedom-range turkey in memory, with stuffing from a new European recipe. W’s eggnog got ever richer. Laura provided the sweet-potato pie, and the twins smuggled in the hooch. Karl Rove made sure everyone got their just desserts, while cantankerous Uncle Dick grabbed the remote and growled at America’s Team to launch another bomb. By the time John Ashcroft let the mighty blessing soar, the family values crowd was hungry enough to eat the Constitution.

It wasn’t perfect. A shaggy, homeless, uninvited Osama had to be chased off. Colin Powell excused himself early, looking like he’d swallowed something that didn’t agree with him. So did Rod Paige -- leaving the children behind -- and Ashcroft, plus a couple of others. No matter, the party rolled on.

Now it’s leftover time. Fortunately, loyal Condi will stay late to help W clean up the mess. They’d better hurry: Tom DeLay’s greenback casserole is already starting to stink. Then there’s the bill. Who’s got the debt-ceiling card?