Chefs are in training, but the price is right

BEING a human guinea pig has its risks. That’s why patients don’t have to pay for experimental drugs and why haircuts by student stylists are offered for free.

The drug may hurt you more than it helps you, and the haircut -- well, we’ve all heard the horror story about the woman who wore a scarf on her head for the next three months.

When the experiment is food, though, the worst possible outcome is an upset stomach. And if you let the aspiring chefs at Kitchen Academy feed you, you would be a picky eater indeed not to come away with a comfortably full belly and a restored faith in the powers that be. You were told there was no free lunch, that there was always a catch. Here’s something to prove the cynics wrong.

Every six weeks or so, the Hollywood culinary school, on Sunset Boulevard in the ArcLight Cinemas complex, holds a free feeding frenzy, mostly for area residents and employees of nearby businesses. The students need to practice cooking for large groups of people, and the school’s neighbors, understandably, are happy to bring their appetites.

The buffet-style spread on a recent Friday afternoon was stunning: tri-tip, carnitas, two kinds of beans, onion rings, hush puppies, Mexican rice.

Sure, the macaroni and cheese was a little dry, and the St. Louis ribs didn’t materialize as promised. You also have to be willing to eat at odd times -- dinner is served at 8:30 a.m., 2:30 p.m. and 8:30 p.m. But remember, it’s not costing you anything.

After you’ve just had a free meal, it’s much easier to part with $11 for a movie ticket at the ArcLight. If you’ve got some time to kill before the show starts, you can browse the art books at the theater gift shop. Amoeba Music is just across the street, or you can even touch up that early winter pallor with a quick session at Hollywood Tans.

My date and I, both writers, opted for the late afternoon drink option. Drinking in broad daylight remains as deliciously sinful a pleasure as ever, and the Cat & Fiddle, with its spacious garden patio, is one of the best places in town to indulge.

After a couple of gin and tonics, even the incongruities of a film like “Memoirs of a Geisha” -- Chinese women dressed in kimonos hissing insults at one another in stilted English -- seemed to make perfect sense.

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The tab

Lunch, free

What: Buffet prepared by culinary students. Approximately every six weeks. Kitchen Academy, 6370 W. Sunset Blvd. (323) 460-4022. www.kitchenacademy.com

Drinks $21

What: Three drinks, including tips. Cat & Fiddle, 6530 W. Sunset Blvd., (323) 468-3800

Movie $22

What: Two movie tickets. ArcLight Cinemas, 6360 W. Sunset Blvd. www.arclightcinemas.com

Parking $5

Total $48